I was so disturbed, I kept on asking myself series of questions.

“Why did I even get myself into this? I am a whore, I am of no good, I have slept with 10 men, I have had 3 abortions, I have consumed drugs, of what good can I possibly be?” I blurted out to the sister coordinator I was discussing with.

*****************

I had been in my room, recovering from hangover when I heard my roommate,Fadekemi talking with someone on the phone “Listen to me, I understand perfectly how you feel because I’ve been there, I was a chronic drug addict before Christ found me”. My head spinned for a while trying to digest those words, “Fadekemi was a drug addict?!” I thought. She had always preached to me but she never told me she was a drug addict.

“Despite my sinful acts, do you know I was the one who killed my father” Fadekemi continued. I almost screamed as I heard that but I remembered that she didn’t even know I was in the room,

“she was even once a murderer!” I muttered.

“But you know what? God loved me even while I was yet a sinner, he showed his love to me in countless situations, his only displease was in the acts I indulged in not in me. He loves you so much, he wants you. You know what, I think we need to see, let’s meet up by 5pm at the sport center” Fadekemi said and hung up.

I couldn’t get over all I had heard, to think that this highly spiritual roommate of mine was once like this! Does it mean that I too could have a meaning attached to my life? Almost immediately I waved it off, “I think I am just still shocked at what I heard, I will get over it” I said.

Two days after, I was coming from my lecture room when I met Racheal, the sister coordinator of a fellowship on campus. She had been pestering me to attend a  fellowship even if once and I knew she was going to invite me again, I had tried to dodge but it didn’t work.

“Hi Rachael” I greeted.

“Hello sister Bidemi” She answered.

After the whole pleasantries and all, she invited me as I expected for fellowship in the evening. I promised her I was going to come, just this once.

The fellowship service was just a recap of all my roommate had said, the exact words came out of the preacher’s mouth “God loved you even while you were yet a sinner, he shows his love to me in countless situations, his only displease was in the acts I indulged in not in me. He loves you so much, he wants you”. Hot tears dropped down my cheeks as I thought “Does God really love me”. As the altar call was announced I walked there and gave my life to him. I felt washed, I felt clean but just four days after, the memories of my past came after me and I had to run back to the sister coordinator explaining to her

*************

“Sister Bidemi…” she said smiling

“Open your bible to Romans 8 vs 1 and read” she said.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” I read.

“Okay, open again to 2 Corinthians 5:17” she said

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” I read again.

“I bet I need not talk anymore, see ehn, you have given your life to Jesus, it belongs to you no more.

You are a new creature.

Old things are passed away.

Your past has passed away.

You are a new being.

Your past is forgotten, your past is buried

The devil knows that and that’s why he tries to remind you but you tell him that he has failed.

You tell him that he is a liar

Tell him you are changed

Tell him you are new

Tel him that the things you used to do, you do no more.

I am proud of you sister Bidemi and God is much more proud.

Don’t ever call yourself a whore! Ever!

You are saved, therefore you are washed and clean.

______________________

Your past is buried, don’t let the devil try to dig it up.

 

BY TAIWO AJAYI

 

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